Trauron's LiveJournal

I am aware that people know/think/realize that, as much as many people deny it, hard to when people keep telling me they hear that kind of thing (4 different REAL LIFE accounts).

Totally no big deal at all, I know I am one these days.
Anywayyyyy.


Been gone away from home for a few days, and at a computer for the past four, but the first 2/3 were without much communication. I've been visiting people around Ottawa for the past few days, and it really has been a rather wonderful experience for me.

Started out far east in Ottawa on monday, though most of that time was spent sleeping and playing games, when I had little internet access, then on wednesday night, I went to stay elsewhere, which I'll explain now.


I've been at Widontknow's andjiktar's place for the past few days, and it really has been a rather good experience for me. Being able to get out of the house, out of my bedroom that I nearly never leave, to being able to spend time with two rather wonderful people (they had another guest over until this evening, but I didn't really talk to him).

Most of the time has been spent doing basically everything I did at home in the first place, being online and chatting, gaming and such..but the other half was actually going out, socializing and everything. The most worth mentionings was friday night, going out to a place nearby to eat with them and a few other guests that came just to go here and eat as a group, though most of it was me just listening in, it really was a good feeling getting out around people for once.

The other major experience was today, where I spent only 4 hours doing it, but it felt amazing.
I took my first trip on Ottawa's public transportation (apparently it's not that good), and spent a lot of time walking around Ottawa as well (it was likely the longest I've been in Ottawa downtown), we ended up grabbing some Beaver Tails (Canadian Pastry) along with later, grabbing an actual bite to eat, all which was well worth the money that I ended up spending on it. During this trip, we did drop off that other guest.
Anyway, we met up with a different person in that time, who ended up coming back to Wi and Ral's appartment with us, along with a few others who came (which one of them I really don't like, but that wasn't a big deal). We ended up playing Rockband for a while (Where one of the guests and I both were challenged to play Green Grass and High Tides on expert, he ended up not finishing it, I beat it while hopping on one foot). I ended up drinking a Bottle of Beer to celebrate before sitting down with everyone to watch Dawn of the Dead (L4D is heavy based off it, I saw why for sure). Now, everything is pretty quiet and I'm sitting alone in the dark, though I don't mind at all.

The most dramatic experience for me during that time though, was getting taught how to play guitar by Ral, it really was a good experience for me, since I've always wanted to play Guitar, I can actually play a little bit now, and apparently I'm pretty good for just my first day.
I'm hoping eventually I can get better.

Another nice experience, was handling their many lizards they have around here. They have Bearded Dragons and Leopard Geckos, along with one other that I can't remember the species of. Currently they have a male and female Bearded Gecko (pictures can be found on Ral's FA I'm sure (link is above), they currently have a set of eggs that will hatch in a few weeks, along with more eggs coming. Was my first time handling lizards either way, it just motivates me to want to have my own eventually, myself. Maybe it'll happen someday.


I've felt really welcome since I've been here, being able to socialize, meet people, feel like I belong for one of the first few times in recent memory, and I really hope to be able to come back again to Wi and Ral's place sometime soon, I really love it here. I've done what I could around their place, trying to keep it tidy and all, seems I'm the first to do that along with pay for my own food really..which is really shocking, that no one does that at all.

Anyway, that's about it really, I just feel really happy, so I thought I'd go ahead and make a journal about my experience from the last week.

Pshhh, I really need to keep up with posting my own stuff. I swear that I read everyone's LJs that I have watched, I just don't always comment.

Anyway, have some life issues going on with my family that I've been waiting to happen for a year, essentially I am getting two boots for my birthday, metaphorically, to keep me out of the house once I become of age.

Knowing me, I'll figure something out in where I am going to go, so no need to worry about it, it just has me fairly down as of late, not able to handle myself on my own yet and all. On top of all that, my 8gig SDHC micro card fried on me a few days ago from a thunder storm, so I've been without my mass of DS games and Homebrew for a little while now, really want to play that new Professor Layton game that came out a week or so ago.

Today, I've been playing a rather old school game someone pointed out to me, it's called "American McGee's Alice", it's a messed up version of the after events of Alice in Wonderland, it is really quite interesting, though rather weird at the same time, I recommend giving it a play. Surprised a game from 2000 has such nice graphics, voice acting and such for its time, though it's age shows at points.

Other then that, most of my time has been spent talking to people (usually the same crowd) on Skype for most of the day, though I've had a break from that for the past two days, it's rather enjoyable and wish I had more people to do that with, even if I am a quiet person.


That's all i can think of right now, hopefully next time I post, it'll be soon, and not much much later like it always seems to be.


PS: Look at my awesome Angreeeee icon. :U

I have a LJ add-on now, so I should be able to keep up with LJ more now that I have it. :v

Recently got into play PSO, it's a fun game. :B

Otherwise, uninteresting as usual!

Been listening to a lot of Aerosmith lately while sitting here doing nothing, since there is nothing to do.

I lead such a boring life, go me. :|

It appears that my tablet pen is starting to die again, I don't think there is anything I can do for it this time, and my mouse isn't exactly working all the time either, I have to hit it every so often for it to click like it is supposed to. I need to get a replacement for both of a new tablet eventually, not likely to happen soon with this job market. x:

Otherwise, most of my days are uneventful as usual, they tend to pass quickly depending on if I am playing games, sleeping or not doing anything. Hopefully I can have a change of life style soon, it'd do me so much good, it'd get me out of my usual boring mood that I usually have. x:

I just thought I'd update a bit here, I don't do it enough due to things to update on.

I didn't realize I haven't made an entry in three weeks, I thought it was a much shorter time frame then that...

Anyways, nothing much has been happening here as of late, I have a number for a place where I can possibly work, but there is definitely no guarantees I will get the job or anything.
Mother is being a lot harder on me because I have this number, I could lose the internet if I don't call it in the next few days, I need to feel ready and now sick and tired all the time if I am going to work, you know what I mean?

On an off topic, it seems that I am still quiet gift prone. Every few days, I get handed something new, its kind of scary really.

Here is one someone commissioned for me of my actual main form, the one that is supposed to be who I am as a dragonkin - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1959634/

It has some errors, but they were fixed, I am waiting patiently for the finished picture, since it will be a great representation of my character with all the details in the proper place finally.

Yeah, I like art too much, sue me. >|

Anyways, I have nothing much else to say, thanks for reading my useless babbling.

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b341/DragonTrauron/BlackmageTra.png

I'm so totally a black mage. >3
Even if they are underpowered in the games I've played them in, I still find them to have the most kick ass outfit, and are just in general, awesome. :v

How about you guys?

So, I ordered an SDHC Micro Card (8gb) and an R4 for my DS, and neither have come yet.

I hate International deliveries, they take far too long then they need to.

The R4 was promised within 6~8 days at most, its been past that now.
The SDHC, I'm guessing it'll be here in another week or two because it is coming from China, its already been two weeks for that too. >>

Hopefully both will be in soon, so I can enjoy the homebrew and ROM goodness that my DS should of had a long time ago. >|

I want to play Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan Dammit. D:

That is all.

It is rather weird, but for a grand majority of today, and right now, I've been feeling down in the dumps.
For what reason? I can't really tell you, because I don't even know the answer myself.

Basically, I woke up around 1pm today feeling like this, got out of bed for a few minutes, then just went to lay down again, as if I had no will to stay out of bed, which I did not have at the time. So basically I was laying there, feeling miserable and suddenly feeling rather lonely as well, not sure what is going on. Then of course, I broke down after an hour or two of looking at my screen, doing absolutely nothing but laying within my favourite blanket. So, I admit I cried a little, it made me feel worse, as I am not one of those people who can cry and shout 'I did my best' and feel better afterward as Dane Cook claims people do. I slept for about two or three hours after that after clearing my head for perhaps twenty minutes.

Anyways, I still feel like that, though I'm at least out of bed...now that it is dark and the sun has gone down. I currently have no appetite and have not ate anything all day.

So much for a happy first day of 2009, I don't know why I feel like this, all I know is I just really need a hug from hitchhyena, aka: Rex, right now. x:


Just thought I'd vent about how I have been feeling today, I kind of wish it would go away. :\

I'm about to rant about something stupid regarding my mother.

So yesterday, I had cravings to have fries or something at least fried, and I asked to make something like that, but my father told me to wait until today in order to do that.

Loud and Behold, I come downstairs when I wake up today, really late (3pm), to find out that my mother is making soup, so I bring up what my father said about how were supposed to be having fries today and such. She starts YELLING at me, for thinking that I am having something were supposedly now having tomorrow. So I go ahead and tell her that I am going to make them anyway since I was promised to be able to have them today, then she continues that yelling of hers, and threatens to take my COMPUTER if I decide to pull out this simple little machine out from the cupboard that boils vegetable oil in order to fry food.

Isn't that just stupid? There is no reason not to let me use it, it is not going to kill anyone, nor is it going to waste vast amounts of electricity nor is it going to get in  the way of anyone. Lastly, WHAT THE FUCK, taking away a computer for cooking something I WANT TO EAT? At least I am trying to eat something! I still have no real appetite because of these antibiotics I am on for that Staph Infection that almost killed me a few weeks ago, my sickness is gone, I just have some afterward stuff going on, but regardless. I still don't eat much, and I am being refused to eat something I want to eat. She isn't saying no because it isn't good for me either.


This is just the tip of the iceberg with what she is like, I'm so glad I'll be away from here soon. :\


PS: She is only like this with me.

That is all.

Guitar Hero: World Tour - Guitar completed with Expert, now proceeding with doing the same with Bass

Doctor's appointment happened today, just asked a few questions and I left.

A visit to the hospital tomorrow morning to check with the hospital doctors.

I get a milkshake tomorrow. <3

While I was sick, I was actually a day away from possibly being dead. If I did not go to the hospital the sunday I went, could of been dead that monday.

Mother is still treating me like crap

Ranked in the top 500 for Osu! - http://osu.ppy.sh/?p=profile&u=48294

Chibisuke from Dragondrive is far too adorable for his own good. I re-watched a few episodes and could not help but get giggly over him.

Finally got offered a job, but I can't work it until I am feeling better again. Will be leaving this place soon anyways, so it would be pointless to start working at this point.

I've actually been working on a picture that I drew MYSELF - http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b341/DragonTrauron/TraCharBigSketch2.png

My skin is falling off, it is gross.

People generally bore me now, never anyone interesting around these days.


Yeah, I don't think I have any other random notes to add right now
That is all I have for now.

Well, as many people on FA know, I was sick and in the hospital for a few days earlier this week, this is where I am going to explain a majority of the happenings.

( The Story... )

Anyways, that there is the hospital report, most of it being unnecessary information. :V
Hard to believe a single Abscess caused all this!

I seemly am starting to check LJ more often, meaning I start remembering to post journals about random crap no one really particularly cares about, how wonderful!

Anyways, nothing for a job has come up yet, I am still looking and such but I really just can't get one even with it being Christmas shopping season now. :\

As for my art block and drawing, it hasn't really progressed either, it was a pain and was making me feel miserable when I was coloring this - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1761015/
I'd of shaded it otherwise...
I have been thinking of new methods for doing art lately though in hopes that I can try to do them soon.. *shrugs*

I have been playing Osu! quite a lot lately, this being my most recent video of it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaHmhgcef-0


My relationship with Rex is fairly stable at the moment, it switches between bad and good a lot, but I'm sure both me and him will manage quite nicely once we get the hang of it, and I am actually physically there with him. ^^;
Regarding that though, my housing conditions have been having a rather large effect on my attitude and personality, I can't honestly say right now that I am the same person I was back up until September. I really do hope I can get out of here soon, as it would be rather helpful to the way I act.

Speaking of Christmas, my dad said he is going to get something for me, as my mother is totally against getting me anything at all for Christmas (typical of her).
I really have no idea what I would ask for though...I was thinking either a real Katana, or an R4 Card and a Micro SDHC Memory Card for my DS in order to use home brew games and just download games to play instead of having to buy them. ^^;

Nothing really left to say at this point, as I am rather boring person as of late and nothing interesting happens to me. o:

So yeah, rawr and stuff.


~ Tra

Because Rawr



I'm seriously bored and keep forgetting to update this page, it might be because I see no point as not many people actually pay attention to my live journal anyways. D:

http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b341/DragonTrauron/
Pass: trawrgoesrawr

Check out all the work I have gathered up and put in there. :3

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Trauron goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as A Chocolate Goo Monster.
behementh tricks you! You get a piece of paper.
chaserocket tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
cyrakhis gives you 11 green cola-flavoured pieces of taffy.
hitchhyena gives you 3 blue evil-flavoured nuggets.
hypnodragon tricks you! You get a wet rag.
kulbara tricks you! You lose 9 pieces of candy!
notveryathletic gives you 11 white blueberry-flavoured jawbreakers.
syrus_draco tricks you! You lose 13 pieces of candy!
winterblueart gives you 2 pink orange-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
Trauron ends up with 5 pieces of candy, a piece of paper, a scratched CD, and a wet rag.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

At least my mate didn't steal from me. X3
Too bad my kinbrother did D:

Besides the fact I think this Meme I stole from Winter is crap, life has been going fine..

Those who read my journals on FA should already know I broke down at my job and returned home, where I am currently living comfortably and safe.

I will be starting alternate school tomorrow, going to be doing Co-op, English and likely Communications first, since I can only do three at a time...it does not have an art section currently which rather sucks for me...either way, just hunting around for a PART TIME job, I can be patient about it though since I don't have people down my backs about getting a rent in time.

Mother still likes to yell and say bad things when she gets the chance, but generally I am well left alone as I already made rather clear.

Stuff

and

Things.

I can't think of anything else, so I shall end this entry there for now. ^^;

It is quite obvious that I don't use live journal much, I don't see why I should when I use FA all the time for my journal needs, but I can't sleep and I have work in 3 hours, and I can't think of anything else to particularly do, so I thought I would do a nice entry here for once and see if I can make my LJ active again.

Either way, as most people know my birthday was on the 11th of September, which was two or three weeks ago. Managed to get 10K views on FA right before then, can't believe just 17 days later  I already have 11K! That is pretty crazy...
It is also quite known that I got a ton of birthday gifts for it, there was many more besides the ones I posted, but I decided not to post the rest of them yet, maybe I should soon before I forget. o:

Why do I get so many gifts and am claimed to be popular anyways? My definition of popular is to have people spamming me constantly while online, which evidently has never happened, and having to struggle through conversations due to the amount of them. I wish for something like that to happen, but as usual, I have to open just about every conversation myself or I can go a day without a single chat. *total chat whore :c *



Anyways, more to normal concern...Since I last made an entry, I have moved out of my parent's place, jumped to another person's place for a little while, then jumped again to my current location.

Living arrangements are as follows:

• My Own Room
• Huge Living Space
• A Laptop for my own use until I get my own, and the ability to use the gaming PC when it is not being used
• Food provided and included into my Rent
• Able to do basically anything I like, and not get yelled at for it (most of you should know how bad the yelling was back at my old home)
• (Mostly) Friendly room mates, one of them likes to complain about things I talk about from time to time..

Also, I got a job on the 23rd, and went for my first day on the 24th...It isn't a great job, I am just a dishwasher, but it is good for now since I need to get money for rent and pay for my cell phone and such (finally memorized my number too).  My plans are to get a laptop with my first leisure paycheck so I don't have to use this crappy one all the time, I may need help with choosing a good one within my price range when the time comes and I know what my pay checks will be like. I'll have to put up with this job for now until something better pops up...its full time, so I get weekends off, I work generally from 8 till 3:30 or 4 depending on how quickly I work and get paid minimum wage...as expected.


Since it is only people I trust who are watching my LJ, I am just going to announce this with no worry.
I may believe there is no existence of any gods at all, but I do believe in past life and kinship. Seeing how I am dragonkin/otherkin, it would come eventually that I would find someone who I feel very strongly about, and one of those people's name is Kulbara.

He isn't very active within LJ, DA or FA, and it is doubtful anyone has ever heard of him, but I care for him deeply, makes me wish he wasn't with someone already...


*yawns* It seems I am starting to get tired now actually, life is good right now you could say besides the fact I have to work on a job I hate now, but I can live with that, I do get money out of it...

Just before I finish this update, I would like to state how much Rent I am paying for a 17 year old.

$500.

A 17 year old paying $500 CND a month, crazy right?

I think it is...I was at a fur house this weekend for a few hours, there was at least 8 furs there, and not to mention one of them was the same age as me, and was supposedly kicked out of his house..won't go for welfare, refuses to really go find a job, and he does drugs! It just goes to show how lazy people can be. I admit to being rather lazy from time to time, but at least I know my esentials, my limits and how to survive...still got to decide if I want to go to college.. *grumble*


Anyways, I shall try to sleep for about 3 hours if I can even get that much.


Let life be more fair, and carry us forward!

*End Transmission*

Ehh..I just feel like I really need to vent or something, I've been feeling really crappy this weekend, and I'll tell you exactly why.

All my life, I've basically been pushed around, bullied, beat up, you name it. I've been a target since Primary, crazy right?
I am now just finishing up my 11th grade in HS, it still happens, but this is where the worst part comes in.

For a while at home now, maybe the last two or three years, I've almost never have been able to have a single conversation with my mother without her yelling the hell out of me for something small.
For instance, I once didn't know of the existence if a 'sock basket' which was in the laundry room, and she decides to yell at me for not knowing where it was since I am never in there anyways.
Theres many other smaller instances such as that one, but thats the one that really gets me, something REALLY stupid, and getting yelled at for it.

The worst of all this is my lack of ability to do what I like with myself, I used to have my computer in my room, but I kept staying on late at night on it, but it never effected my grades or anything, not a bit, but she decides to move it into the basement anyways, and then she took it away for nearly 2 weeks so I would get on a normal sleeping cycle that makes no difference at all for me getting out of bed.

I've had the wanting to leave this stupid house for over a year now, since all anyone treats me like is a waste of their time, even my sisters are like that. I'm basically just a burden to anyone in my family here, usually while I always try to find people online to chat with, because thats the only place that I never get judged and people will actually listen or appreciate me for who I am, someone who is always willing to help others in need whenever I can.


This is the part that really has put me over the edge for wanting to leave here, and I will direct quote this from an IM with a friend yesterday(whom offered that if they had a place, they would let me stay).

- (5:15:55 PM) Trauron: so I was pulled upstairs for the last 45minutes, so my mom could barge through my room and look through all my stuff, and yell at me constantly over little things like batteries being on my bureau or a few pieces of newspaper on my desk (which I could of used for a craft or something) until she finally said "why did I ever have you" "the only thing that comes out of your mouth is negitivity" "its definitely not the way you were raised (lol, that's a total lie and a half)" and "I can't wait till you leave this house"

Then today, something similar happened with just a Wii that has been on the floor for nearly 2 months that she only decided to yell at me now for, two cans of coke on my computer desk, empty, and an old Mark sheet that showed me failing a course back at the very beginning of April.
"Your up to here with me, if you say even one more word, your done for, as well as your computer" "All That ever comes out of your mouth is lies, its never the truth (thats a lie, did she think I was lying when I answered yes to when she asked if I was gay, and admitting to staying up late on my computer on occasion?)" What the hell did I do wrong? Honestly, this whole weekend has basically left me feeling like crap, and wanting more then ever just to walk out and leave this hell hole.

I know theres really nothing I can do about it unless I want to leave HS, which is a possibility, I could always just take it later or something, or I heard there was a test that can be done in order to be equivalent to a high school graduate...anyways, I'm done with my rant for now.

I'm surprised I'm not Emo or have something like ASPD or something, which I'm starting to suspect that I am getting since a lot of the traits of ASPD are fitting me right now. *Sigh*


For ever reads this whole thing, thank you for reading it.

I think I will stick with a weekly entry to my livejournal, it seems good enough to me.


Anyways, not much to say again this time, my semester is soon coming to an end, so I will have exams to partake...still have a lot of work to pass in for a few classes, going to need to get those done. =/

So my sister got something I've been wanting for years, a laptop, for her birthday, then an mp3 player as well. Thats like $600 right?
When I asked for a tablet for my bday, my mother was like "$200? fuck no", almost never even got the tablet at all, only the efforts of my dad allowed me to get it.

That really pisses me off, refraining from even getting me a single $200worth gift when they give my sister  $600 in gifts? That is just...cruel, my mother has always treated me like this, like she never wanted me at all.
*sigh* Got to hate it sometimes *shrugs*


I end this entry with a single: rawr.

~Tra